Brian O’Rielly

Comedians Are People Too (And Other Lies)

I am one of the comedians that took part in writing Comedians Are People Too (and Other Lies). We wrote the book during Quarantine. It was initiated by Sarah Benson and a collaboration of Denver stand-up comedians, since there couldn’t be any public comedy shows. Some chapters are mature in humor. My chapter is for all ages.

(The following wasn’t in my chapter, just a few written down more Part 2.) 

Kids Say the Darndest Things Part 2

by Brian O’Rielly

My sister has kept track of the funny things her grandson says. Sometimes I witness his hilarious quips. Part 1 starts when he’s 5 years old, Part 2 starts when he’s 8 or 9.  To protect the young, I will refer to him as Bart.

1. “Chop off my hand so I can see what it looks like inside.”

2. “Why do you always have to clean?”

3. “What about me?!? Maybe you’re preventing ME from concentrating!!!”

4. Grandma: “I’m going to dye my hair.” Bart: “Why don’t you just keep it grey?”

5. Grandma: “I wish I could go to the moon.” Bart: “You’re too old.”

6. (On his tenth birthday!) Grandma: “How come you won’t let Grandma kiss you anymore?” Bart: “You have vegetable breath.”

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