I’m two weeks on my thyroid meds. My brain is bouncing off the inside of my head, wanting to do things and wanting to expend energy. My body on the other hand is not a willing participant in all of this.
I just got off the treadmill. I forced myself to walk a mile. It went great but dammit, it took a lot out of me. Hard to believe that a month ago I was walking six miles a day. This is so frustrating.
Life is throwing some curveballs in other areas now so it’s imperative that my body start to cooperate with what I’m telling it to do. I’m going to ask it to do a little more everyday until it refuses. If I don’t push it physically I may not make it mentally.
I know this takes time. I know dosages need to be adjusted. I know others have been through this. I am not reinventing the wheel. I am however trying to gage the circumference of my wheel. Right now it’s more of a training wheel.
Diet Changes. I have to learn how to eat nothing and then go back to eating something. DON’T EAT THAT! DON’T EAT THAT! DON’T EAT THAT! But, but, can I….. AND DEFINITELY DON’T SMOKE THAT! NOPE NOPE NOPE AND NO!
Your clothes no longer fit and you are broken. Pay attention and fix this! Do it right! My brain never shuts off! It’s on constant alert to everything my body wants and feels but is also trying to subvert my body in various ways. I dream that I’m 130lbs and running. I woke up 155lbs and in pain.
I have lost weight since I started the meds. The fluid is clearing and the edema isn’t as bad now. I just have to keep doing the things I’m doing. The headaches are gone…. mostly.
I miss my friends, I miss my family, the band and now I miss me! I find myself worrying for friends today. Pissed off because I can’t help my family. I hope they understand. I know they do.
STUPID TIME. I feel like we are all walking across it. It’s like rice paper laid out over poles that are spread too far apart and at any moment one of us, or all of us are going to fall through.
I know that seems so dark, but don’t worry because in 10 min, my hormones will shift and I’ll be laughing and smiling because my dog looked at me funny or my daughter will have said “I love you mom”, or just because that’s what my brain wants to do next. I’m certain this sucks but I’m also certain it will change. As long as it changes things will be okay.
I’m so happy I have this blog. It keeps my mind busy. I hope Everyone finds some enjoyment here. I know I do. I absolutely love doing it. Please leave comments on articles. Let me know in a post on Read Me Books if there are certain things you would like me to try and write about. We’ll see what we can do. Do you have a favorite indie Author you would like us to contact to try to get on Indie spotlight and interview? We do not discriminate at Read Me Books so don’t be afraid to ask for what you would like to see.
I also want to encourage the people who want to write to keep submitting. I miss the poems and short stories. I really just miss People!
Keep on keepin on everybody!