Christmas Tree Gravel

Yeah. It’s exactly how it sounds.

Our Christmas tree has gravel in it.

Those tiny pebbles that you can get at any store to decorate maybe your fish tank or a nice clear vase. They are in our Christmas tree…

And it’s seemingly endless. I’m pretty positive that, if I shook this tree every day, all day, rocks would continue to fall out of the branches for the rest of it’s days. Sometimes, if I stare at the tree long enough, a couple will just fall out on their own. I’m pretty sure I’m a Jedi…

How did they get there? My two youngest, of course. Emmy (3) and Ellie (2) are just two peas in a pod whose only goal, currently, is to set some sort of record for the most catastrophic mess contained by a house.

Anyone who is a parent of record setters knows how it goes. The tornado that follows you around the house, destroying everything behind you as you clean the next room. Except, it doesn’t end with the tornado.

Imagine, if you will, a flash flood came roaring in immediately upon the tornado’s departure, making sure to saturate everything that would otherwise be easily vacuumed. Suddenly, after the flood has passed, a couple of toddlers walk in and squeeze fresh orange juice everywhere. The hope is that they just walk away, but what’s the fun in that? Why not rip the whole orange apart and smoosh the pulp into the carpet?

They don’t do this to areas that are already messy, either. What is it about a clean, empty floor that draws these kids towards them, enticing them to create their next masterpiece. Maybe throw some olive oil down, smear it around a bit. Then, toss some flour and baking powder on top and push it around to create a topographic effect. Lastly, we hope, they could sprinkle teal blue sugar crystal sprinkles on top for added texture.

I’m not even making this up. This is a very real creation given to me by my “spirited” (ugh…) toddlers.

How long are they without supervision to even be able to do this!?! You asked yourself that, right? It varies day-to-day, really. I mean, how long does it take to clean a bathroom? To fold laundry? To do almost anything in the next room over?

The olive oil-based topographic scene took 10 minutes. The initial gravel placement in the tree took 5. It all depends on their motivation that day.

If you’re waiting for some kind of anecdote to come up, I have disappointing news. It’s not coming. All I can give you is solidarity. Unless your kids would never, or have never, gone down this record setting path (Big sarcastic thumbs up to you! Way to go!). Either way, I’ll be here shaking out my tree before putting it back in the box until the end of the year.

Who knows… Maybe I have a new tradition in the making. I can’t wait until Christmas gravel season.

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